Q. My boyfriend of nine months leaves a mess in my home, and it infuriates me. Although he’s otherwise a great guy, just a glass not taken to the kitchen makes me boil with rage. He doesn’t only leave glasses around, but dishes and trash, napkins and soda cans. Jackets and sweatshirts are dropped wherever. He lies on the bed without taking his shoes off … arrrrgh! And he spits toothpaste into the sink without rinsing it out, and never does dishes when we cook or put carryout on plates. I don’t understand my anger because I sometimes leave a glass out, too. I do know I shouldn’t approach him about this while I’m this upset.
A. Where does your boyfriend think dirty dishes go to die? Do they jump out an open window and smash themselves on the pavement? Leap into a sink full of soapy water and drown themselves? Or, do they hire a hit man to do the job? Maybe an aging housewife who breaks into your place in the dead of night, slowly and methodically pulls on rubber gloves, then holds the plates under water until the deed is done.
Your boyfriend could be pondering this question nightly, but it seems he’s too busy flopping on the bed, swinging his big shoes onto your duvet, and snoring. Meanwhile, you’re storming around the house collecting cans, snarling, “What does he think, that I answered an ad for a fully furnished Dumpster with cable TV? Or was he worried I’d get lost making my way back from the living room to the kitchen? How sweet of him to leave a trail of dirty napkins to mark my path!”
Next, he’ll complain there’s no mint on the pillow